Why You Don’t Need A Flower Girl In Your Wedding
You don’t need a flower girl in your wedding. And, you know what, you don’t need a ring bearer either.
You don’t need cake, or a white dress, or a getaway car. You don’t need a registry, a bouquet, or a first dance.
Legally speaking, the only things required to hold a wedding are a registered officiant, two people who love each other, and a marriage license.
The rest of what we know as “weddings” is just the fluff. The add-ons. And sometimes, the distractions.
The beginning of our wedding planning was extremely stressful. It might have been because our engagement was a short 3 months (#noregrets) and I felt pressure to get things done quick, though I believe that most of the stress was due to the fact that there are just too many dang decisions to make when planning a wedding.
But thankfully, early on we came up with a plan and the stress subsided.
The plan was this: go through everything a typical wedding includes and ask if it was important to us.
Wedding favors? No.
Bridesmaids & groomsmen? No.
Our Families? Yes.
Live band? No.
Doing this exercise together gave us each a much better understanding of what we both wanted and helped us see the same vision for our day.And when it comes to making the big decisions like the location, guest list, and budget, being on the same page is crucial.
After talking through our must-haves, we came to the conclusion that the best situation for us would be to hold a small, intimate ceremony with 30 of our closest friends and family.
Now looking back on our day, it was perfect. Definitely not a perfect wedding for most people, but it was perfect for us.
It was perfect for us because everything we did that day was on purpose. We didn’t do a single thing that we didn’t care about. We only made time for and paid for the things that were important to us. Because of that, we don’t have any regrets.
Of course, taking this route wasn’t an easy road. Many people in our lives disapproved. It was a battle to stand firm on our decisions. If it wasn’t for so many of our married friends who told us they wish they would’ve done the things they really wanted to do on their day, we probably would’ve ended up trying to make everyone else happy and had a “normal” wedding too.
Who gets to decide what’s “normal” for a wedding, anyway? Why is it that we as a culture believe that weddings must be set up a certain way if every couple is different?
Your wedding is an opportunity to commemorate the wonderfully unique love you share.
Take advantage of the opportunity to celebrate in the way that feels most authentic and exciting to you as couple and run with it. And remember, you two are the only ones that will know what is right for you both. Trust your gut, don’t settle, and be sure to plan a dance party sometime during the day because shaking your booty is most definitely a very important to celebrating, in general.
If you’d like to see more photos, visit theharveymarriage.com.